Mortal Kombat Review
I usually think Bill Maher is a douche but I kind of agreed with his recent Oscars monologue. Of course, it would’ve meant more coming from someone who didn’t, you know, go to The Oscars.
I appreciated how good Nomadland was, but I didn’t have fun watching it. Sometimes you just want to watch a fun movie. That’s why I don’t completely agree with Maher. The Oscars have always been depressing. But they’re not the only movies in the world. If you’re looking to have fun when you watch a movie, don’t look to the people you drink with at parties, Billy boy.
Godzilla vs. Kong was fun as shit. I checked out Mortal Kombat this weekend, also on HBO Max, hoping for the same result. You’re supposed to have fun when you watch a movie with a misspelled word in the title.
I enjoyed Mortal Kombat. Just not as much as I hoped I would. The fight scenes were good but they didn’t equal the ones in Godzilla vs. Kong.
The movie’s central conflict is a tournament called, you guessed it, Mortal Kombat, between the Outworld champions (bad guys) and the Earthrealm champions (good guys). Apparently, it’s like a Globetrotters vs. the Generals thing because the Earthrealm has lost the tournament nine times in a row. If they lose again, then Outworld will conquer the Earth.
Mortal Kombat starts in 17th century Japan with a showdown between rival warriors Bi-Han and Hanzo Hasashi. It’s filled with blood and gore, and vengeance, and everything else you wanted from this movie. They weren’t wasting any time. Unfortunately, the two most legendary characters in the series don’t face off again until the end of the movie.
In the present day, we have a washed-up MMA fighter named Cole Young. The schmaltz meter is at an 11 during Cole’s introduction. He gets chirped by a promoter for being a “human punching bag” before his wife and daughter wish him good luck. Cole’s wife bails. She doesn’t want to watch another ass-kicking. I can’t blame her. It was hard for me to watch Cole too.
Cole is the main character, but he’s also the worst part of the movie. The story is told from Cole’s point of view. His encounters with the rest of the characters are what drive the plot forward.
But it’s different this time. A descendant of Hanzo is still alive, and he’s going to save the Earthrealm. Sub-Zero is dispatched by Shang Tsung (Outworld) to kill the Earthrealm champions. Just to be safe.
Cole gets help from Special Forces soldiers Jax and Sonya and more reluctant help from captive mercenary Kano. They stumble onto Liu Kang who wants to train them to be champions. Apparently, the training was happening in real-time because those scenes dragged.
Raiden is kind of a dick. He’s basically just watching and waiting for the world to end. All he does is criticize everyone and offer no help. Thanks bro.
The most painful part of the movie might be Kano’s one-liners. Whoever wrote this movie is a big fan of wizards because we get references to Gandalf, Harry Potter, and David Copperfield. There was also an MC Hammer pants joke in the year 2021. I mean come on.
I realize it sounds like I’m trashing this, but it was still a pretty fun watch. To enjoy Mortal Kombat at all, you need to appreciate it for what it is. This is a movie about characters from a video game beating the shit out of each other. The blood and gore that were missing from the earlier movies are perfect in the reboot.
There was a lot of hype around this movie with fans of the series because of its R rating. That may not seem like a big deal, but the original Mortal Kombat and its disastrous sequel, released in the mid-90s, were both PG-13. A game that is known for blood and gore makes no sense as a PG-13.
The fight scenes at the end are the highlight. An idea for the sequel: MORE OF THAT.
But if you’re willing to stick around to the end you won’t regret it. If you’re a fan of the games, you’ll enjoy the catchphrases sprinkled in throughout. Oh yeah, there’s also Mileena. She’s pretty badass.
Other video game movies try too hard to be something they’re not. Ahem, Max Payne. They alter the story to try and appeal to people who are never going to watch a video game movie.
That’s why this version of Mortal Kombat can be a successful franchise. It won the box office this weekend. Mortal Kombat separated itself from other video game movies in one way. It was a movie for fans of the games.
The movie revolving around Cole, a character who is original to this movie, is pretty disappointing. The majority of the movie feels like a lead-up to what is actually a pretty cool ending.
If you liked the video games, you’ll like this movie. If you’re not, then you probably won’t be able to get past Cole being the main character.
